5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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