true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
