I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
