Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
