There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
