After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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