I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
