there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
