Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
