Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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