Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
