I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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