sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
