I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
thus making me awesome and them whores
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize