I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
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