WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
