i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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