You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
