just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
