Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
