my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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