She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
