My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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