We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
