why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
