Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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