Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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