Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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