That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
