Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
