Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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