why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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