i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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