He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
