i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
