I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
