Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
