she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I will be naked everywhere
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
