I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
