my room smells like sperm. sweet.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
