Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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