Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
