I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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