just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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