she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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