Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
