she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
