honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
