Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
