Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize