that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
