I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
