1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
