then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
