After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
