He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
