She is in my trunk
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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