You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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