matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
