Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
