Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
