Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
