Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
