I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
