woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
