i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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