no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
