Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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